Can you please give feedback on Sienna Plantation post on new site

[jamesww]

I launched a new Houston homes blog site just 34 days ago and I would like some feedback on my new Sienna Plantation post. I would love it if I could get some suggestions on how I can better format the post or improve the access to real estate listings. The maps are live and so it would be nice if you could let me know if it is obvious that you can get MLS listing information from the maps. So please cruise by my Sienna Plantation post by clicking here. Also while you are at it if you could drop by the home page and let me know how you think I can introduce text without making the theme look funny. Thanks a bunch!!!

[ChickenFreak]

I don't know if this is the kind of thing you're interested in comments on, but the text confused me; you might want to tweak it.

For example, the first paragraph:

"Sienna Plantation was named after Siena in the Tuscany region of Italy ... (snip)... It has been speculated that the daughters selected the name for St. Catherine of Siena who is the patron saint of single women..."

My reaction was, "What, he's advertising a new development and he doesn't know for sure why it was named the way it was?"

Then I got to the second paragraph and realized that, no, the _name_ isn't new. But I'm still confused - is the development new? I figure, OK, he'll explain, I'll keep reading... then I'm interrupted by "homes for sale", and then the history doesn't continue to tell me how Sienna Plantation got from 1967 to whatever's going on now, it just tells me how cool it is.

I think that you could get along without the history, but the text as it is now raises the expectation that we're going to hear about the history, and then we don't.

And after the history ends, the page gives me some pretty short text about the amenities and events, stuff that I would probably expect to be in a whole blog post of their own.

So you might want to consider breaking it up, something like:

- Fabulous development with houses for sale! Woohoo! Look at the maps! Look at those beautiful views! Just look at that pool!
-- Interested? We've got subtopics!
---- Look here for the amenities!
---- Look here for local events!
---- Curious about the history? Look here! (And you might want some adorable old pictures, too.)

Obviously the titles wouldn't be in those words. But you see what I mean?

ChickenFreak

[jamesww]

Originally Posted by ChickenFreak

I don't know if this is the kind of thing you're interested in comments on, but the text confused me; you might want to tweak it.

For example, the first paragraph:

"Sienna Plantation was named after Siena in the Tuscany region of Italy ... (snip)... It has been speculated that the daughters selected the name for St. Catherine of Siena who is the patron saint of single women..."

My reaction was, "What, he's advertising a new development and he doesn't know for sure why it was named the way it was?"

Then I got to the second paragraph and realized that, no, the _name_ isn't new. But I'm still confused - is the development new? I figure, OK, he'll explain, I'll keep reading... then I'm interrupted by "homes for sale", and then the history doesn't continue to tell me how Sienna Plantation got from 1967 to whatever's going on now, it just tells me how cool it is.

I think that you could get along without the history, but the text as it is now raises the expectation that we're going to hear about the history, and then we don't.

And after the history ends, the page gives me some pretty short text about the amenities and events, stuff that I would probably expect to be in a whole blog post of their own.

So you might want to consider breaking it up, something like:

- Fabulous development with houses for sale! Woohoo! Look at the maps! Look at those beautiful views! Just look at that pool!
-- Interested? We've got subtopics!
---- Look here for the amenities!
---- Look here for local events!
---- Curious about the history? Look here! (And you might want some adorable old pictures, too.)

Obviously the titles wouldn't be in those words. But you see what I mean?

ChickenFreak

Thank you very much for your detailed break down. I will look into how to clean it up. The history stuff tends to make things rank better in Google so I guess I need to elaborate on that part more. I plan on making posts that give more detail about the amenities and events at a later date then cross link the articles. But that will come with time.

What do you think is the most important items to correct in an effort not to turn off the reader?

[ChickenFreak]

I think that a more straightforward introduction is needed. As in, "Sienna Plantation is a luxury planned community in sunny Houston Texas, rated at Top Widget Rating by Some Rating Society. Homes currently available in Sienna Plantation range from..."

And so on. I don't actually recommend any of those words or phrases, I just mean that it seems to call for a straightforward couple of paragraphs that tell the reader, hey, this development exists at this place, it's this kind of development, it's nice and other people agree that it's nice, we're prepared to sell pieces of it, wanna look?

ChickenFreak