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I'd say spam is when you get a lot of crappy messages ( either in your email inbox or on a forum, site etc ) where the sender is desperately trying to sell you something you probably don't want. And it sucks!
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I've been labled a spammer before, though I was just trying to get some ideas on how to improve my site, not sell it. I stay away from that totally now, because people ignore me because I'm "the spammer". It's hard to get any honesty from people because of all the spammers. It's hard for us legit sites looking for ideas, reviews and commentary.
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